When I was growing up my Momma always had something to say about the moves I was trying to make. Don’t get me wrong, before I was of a legal age, she should have been. However, I was playing grown, (in my mind & in certain roles), long before I hit eighteen. It took me many years to realize that not only was she my mother, but that she also, was my Big Homie.
Now in case you don’t know, a Big Homie is a the one friend you had growing u that you looked too. She always seemed to have all the answers, and she worked her actions with finesse, Most times she was also older than you too.
But, when I think about the lessons I learned from my girlfriends, especially the older ones, hence…my Big Homies, what they taught me I used almost immediately. My reasoning is that I felt like they were more in the “know”, then my Momma, that they and I were more in tune with each other and quite frankly I felt like my friends and I were in this together.
Well, Imma chalk this up to immaturity, because as I reflect back now, I know some of the things I saw my friends doing, were not done the right way. Dealing with boyfriends, navigating friendships, and what paths to take to adulthood, are all issues that I discussed with my friends and my Momma. Needless to say, I went with my friends advice. The funny part, the way that I would handle these same situations now, are so far from what my friends did, and more aligned with how my Momma did things.
It was hard for me to imagine, but most of what my Momma had been through a lot of what I was going through at that very moment. As there is ultimately no new situation under the sun, my mother, had ups, downs, and in between like every other woman. Once I honed in on this, I found a way to tap into her knowledge and began to strap myself better to navigate through my life.
Who better to have in your business, then the person, who truly wants the best for you? Now, don’t get me wrong there is a limit to any amount of input from others. Nevertheless, association brings assimilation, and associating with your Big Homie, i.e. your Momma, can rub off on you in many many positive ways.
Ps…I explore the dynamics of a mother and daughter relationship between Skye and her mother Alice in my book, Tha Bottom Line. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, here’s a link to the first few chapters :http://payhip.com/b/WOpD